Wednesday, August 28, 2013

. . . because kittens!

So we are floating on a wave of happy around here because kittens!


And believe it -- objectively speaking, I could throw some weighty "woe is me" statements around,
but I can't because kittens! 

I mentioned a while ago that some heavy-duty shit has gone down amongst the family et cetera, but: kittens! 

The heavy-duty has stuck around, and it does suck sometimes to be a grownup,
 but I think I'll make it because kittens!

And the sunny girl will definitely tell you:  "Kittens!"

This even though she is contemplating her junior year of high school.  Angst!  Angst!  Oh, wait -- kittens!

So I do know everything is eventually going to be OK.  Because kittens!

Friday, August 23, 2013

I guess a place to sit is too much to ask for . . . .


Well so here's just a little update on my first day of classes at the community college:  What the hell?

Every student showed up to attend this composition class and receive the gift of my brilliance or at least snag a copy of the syllabus.  The class size is supposed to max out at 27, and believe it when I say the doodahs and pooh-bahs bang it into our heads that no class may ever be expanded beyond that maximum number.  "Don't make any false promises to a student!  A closed closed is a closed class!" they say.

 So I was thrilled and not at all surprised to find 28 names on my roster.

And it was even better than that because this classroom has only twenty desks.  Being gifted at math, I used my fingers and my toes to count them up, and said to myself, "I think this might be a problem."  Then I took some students with me on a stealthy mission to steal chairs (extra actual desks would be too much to dream about).  I figured I only needed seven more.


So this nice-seeming girl went home after her first day of college and reported to her mom that she sat on the floor.  So that's tuition money well-spent, don't you think?

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

First day

Well, today begins the fall semester of classes at the community college where I teach introductory writing courses.  I'm looking forward to meeting my new students because the students I have had in the past have been hilarious.  Sometimes they just didn't know it.

Here are some actual things my actual college students have actually said to me:

* * * * *

Here was the sentence under discussion:  We were annoyed by his digging in the yard.
ME:  In this sentence digging is a gerund, because it is a verb form used in place of a noun.
STUDENT:  Now you're just making stuff up, aren't you?
* * * * *

Talking (as I do over and over and over) about the correct use of subject and object pronouns:
ME:  Him and me went to a bar.  Who can tell me what's wrong with this sentence?
STUDENT:  Well, it's wrong because . . . -- hey!  Who did you go to a bar with?!
 * * * * *

During a unit on fairy tales, I went off about why, and how much, I hate the Disney version of "The Little Mermaid."   I may have even stamped my foot.  I was eloquent, y'all.  When I paused to take a breath when I finished, I heard someone mutter, "Dang . . ." under his breath.  And then a girl raised her hand and said, " No offense, but if you talk like that at home, your kids must really hate you."

* * * * *

During that same fairy tale unit, the class considered Angela Carter's "The Company of Wolves," a dark feminist re-telling of the Little Red Riding Hood story.  The phrase we were considering was:  "Carnivore incarnate, only immaculate flesh would appease him." 
STUDENT:  Maybe it means that her innocence is what saves her?
ME:  Well, but is she really that innocent?
ANOTHER STUDENT:  She's banging a werewolf -- how innocent can she be?

* * * * * 

I can't wait!  Let's do this!

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Glamour hair: rockin' the red!

Look at the sunny girl's fabulous new red hair!  Don't you love it?!