So we went to this awesome water park on Friday -- trying to squeeze those last drops of fun out of the summer before school starts on Tuesday. And we really had just the most excellent time -- me and my girl urchins and Coleen and her girl urchins. There were slides and pools and a faux lazy river. What could be better?
Coleen and her oldest girl, Jolie Blonde.We stuffed ourselves silly with ice cream, funnel cake, chili dogs, popcorn chicken, and more ice cream. Some of us just ate ice cream. Now, that's good parenting!
Check out Sylvia on the lazy river!
And the best news is -- once again I can be nominated for Bad Mother of the Year! This took some doing, let me tell you. Just because my oldest girl slipped and fell didn't automatically guarantee me a nomination. I also had to ignore her occasional muttering about how her wrist really kind of hurt, plus I had to badger her into taking pictures with her bum wrist, too. It takes a lot of work if you want that Bad Mother nomination, but I have always been dedicated to excellence.Some people might have rested on their laurels at this point, but I really impressed the judges by letting her go to the high school football game that night, instead of taking her to an urgent care facility to get her wrist x-rayed. Hey! It was the first game of the season!
So you can just imagine how proud I was at 1:00 a.m. Saturday morning, when the Emergency Room doctor gave us the fabulous news -- yes! Her wrist is, in fact, broken. I'm so happy I could cry.
Well done, Liz! I was worried that you were turning to the dark side and becoming a caring, compassionate parent, but hooray! You are back on track to win the coveted title of Worst Mom of the Year! You will have to build a trophy room at this rate!
ReplyDelete~your anonymous neighbor~
Meanwhile, I pointed out that we should head to the emergency room immediately......xxoox, Coleen
ReplyDeleteDoes that guarantee my nomination as "Auntie of the Year"?
P.S. "Jolie Blonde"????
ReplyDelete"Jolie Blonde: also known as Jolie Blon, Jole Blon, or Joli Blon -- the traditional Cajun waltz, often referred to as the Cajun national anthem. From the French, meaning 'pretty blonde'"
ReplyDeleteSee also: http://web.ukonline/pdcmusic/jolie-blonde.html
And yes, Coleen did say, "let's go to the emergency room -- immediately after I finish these Dippin' Dots."
ReplyDeleteYes, Coleen! Liz wins the big prize, but you get Best Supporting non-Parent for your performance in the "let's let the child writhe in pain while I finish my ice cream" category!
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be Blonde Jolie? You know, they're all crazy over there and put their adjectives after their nouns.
ReplyDeleteUm, about the wrist, I think I can do you one better. I once let my 4 year old go two days without walking because I thought he was faking a sore foot. Turns out he had fractured the growth plate in his ankle. No bruising, no swelling, no nothing. I am a class A idiot.