Sunday, January 23, 2011

Step aside, Tallulah Bankhead!

So the girl in charge starred in her high school's entry in the district One-Act Play festival -- "The Murder Box." People, she tore up the stage! Just like Tallulah Bankhead, without the opium addiction and vast promiscuity . . . .

She was fabulously obnoxious as the sneaky and manipulative Maggie, well and truly detested by her colleagues backstage at an old and soon-to-be demolished theater. Because they hate her so much (Maggie, not my girl) and because she is a notorious liar (Maggie, not my girl), no one believes her after she witnesses several murders. Bummer . . . .

Could their disbelief have something to do with the fact that each dead body is stuffed into a (cue dramatic music) magician's box?? Hmm . . . .

The girl in charge had so much fun flinging herself about the stage! She hid so she could eavesdrop on crucial conversations; she screamed with fright as the lights flickered dramatically; she threw herself at the feet of a potential rescuer. She was shot at, clunked on the head with a flashlight, . . .

. . . and chased by a crazed Lothario wearing a fur coat and a feather boa. I tell you, she was fabulous! The crazed Lothario was pretty awesome, too.

Unfortunately, things ended badly for the wicked and conniving Maggie. Her colleagues conspired against her; and she wound up bound with rope, gagged and hand-cuffed, and then stuffed right into the Murder Box -- right there in front of her entire family! Well, in front of the girl in charge's family, anyway. The tall boy even came home from college for the afternoon to watch, in awe of his little sister. It was good for him -- and great for her.

I loved every minute!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Snapshot: Why I suck

This tragically accurate (and let me note -- completely unstaged) picture tells you everything you need to know about me:

1. Newly purchased P90X workout discs (pricey) and glamorous "Extreme Home Fitness Nutrition Plan," being eaten by a delicious bag of potato chips. The girl in charge and I are starting this challenging! yet awesome! workout program ("Extreme workout! Extreme results!"), just as soon as we finish watching all of our backlogged NCIS and Gilmore Girls episodes. Honest!

2. Festive Merry Christmas tablecloth. Hello, January!

3. I've always had a thing for Sharpies, but it feels like the Sharpie Fairy scatters them all over my house like glitter, except more permanently staining. I seem to trip over them in the oddest places. Ask anyone, including Coleen's heart-faced girl, who, at the age of two, found one on the floor of my bedroom and proceeded to scribble in bright blue all over the pristine white belly of a sleeping Annie the Wonder Cat. Just one more way that my slovenly housekeeping has created one of my all-time favorite memories.

4. Blog posts, unwritten.

5. Bills, paid. Maybe.

6. A Midsummer Night's Dream. Hello, dream lover!