We interrupt this Friday morning . . .

See the tall boy. See the tall, tall boy. See the tall boy wearing a patriotic tie. The tall boy is off to work. Go, cranky not-a-morning-person tall boy, go!

See the bus. Look at the big, big bus. The bus will take the tall boy to the Pentagon. The tall boy is happy because he will sleep on the bus. Go, bus, go!

Look at the Pentagon. The Pentagon is a big, big building. The Pentagon is battle-scarred but strong. No al Qaeda bad guys can keep this Pentagon from re-building itself even stronger. Go, Pentagon, go! The tall boy will get on a train at the Pentagon. He will go under the ground. He will sleep on the train. Sleep, cranky tall boy, sleep!

See the police officers. "Good morning, officer! Thank you for protecting us here in the nation's capital! Thank you for keeping my tall boy safe!"

Oh! Oh! What has happened? Why has the tall boy's bus stopped in the middle of the busy, busy highway? How will the tall boy get to work on time? Look! Look! A douchebag has left a scary backpack. The scary backpack makes the police officers sad. They must stop all the cars and buses and workers. Bad, bad douchebag!
Finally the tall boy is happy. The bus can move again. Soon he will ride the train. The tall boy will ride the train, but only after the sniffer dog at the Pentagon makes sure that the tall boy is not a douchebag. Good sniffer dog! Thank you for not biting my tall boy!

Thank you, police officers! Thank you, soldiers and marines and sailors and airmen! Thank you, sniffer dogs! Thank you for keeping us safe. Thank you for making us late for work but not in trouble for it because our bosses were late too. Thank you, thank you!

But not you, douchebag.