Here are some actual things my actual college students have actually said to me:
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Here was the sentence under discussion: We were annoyed by his digging in the yard.
ME: In this sentence digging is a gerund, because it is a verb form used in place of a noun.
STUDENT: Now you're just making stuff up, aren't you?
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Talking (as I do over and over and over) about the correct use of subject and object pronouns:
ME: Him and me went to a bar. Who can tell me what's wrong with this sentence?
STUDENT: Well, it's wrong because . . . -- hey! Who did you go to a bar with?!
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During a unit on fairy tales, I went off about why, and how much, I hate the Disney version of "The Little Mermaid." I may have even stamped my foot. I was eloquent, y'all. When I paused to take a breath when I finished, I heard someone mutter, "Dang . . ." under his breath. And then a girl raised her hand and said, " No offense, but if you talk like that at home, your kids must really hate you."
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During that same fairy tale unit, the class considered Angela Carter's "The Company of Wolves," a dark feminist re-telling of the Little Red Riding Hood story. The phrase we were considering was: "Carnivore incarnate, only immaculate flesh would appease him."
STUDENT: Maybe it means that her innocence is what saves her?
ME: Well, but is she really that innocent?
ANOTHER STUDENT: She's banging a werewolf -- how innocent can she be?
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I can't wait! Let's do this!
My favorite comment from a student: We had just taken the state reading test and the kid had not done very well (computerized so they got the score right away). He was trying to save face in front of his friends and he said, "You only use 10% of your brain and you waste the other half." Yeah, he didn't do too well on the math test the next week either.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not sure I even understand how his reasoning would help him save face -- even if his math skills were a little more robust . . . .
DeleteThis is so funny! I hope the new students this year are just as productive.
ReplyDeleteIt has already begun: a kid said yesterday, "so just to be clear -- you're basically saying we should have the textbook?"
DeleteYou made me laugh out loud! I love how the "your kids must hate you" comment was supposedly softened with "no offense," the favorite of millennials everywhere. Sure. Right.
ReplyDeleteYeah, "no offense" and "don't take this the wrong way, but . . . " cannot ever bring anything good behind them.
DeleteAt the end of the year last year, the students were confused about why there was a "bachelorette" event. I had no idea what they were talking about. And then it dawned on me...."Are you talking about the baccalaureate mass?" Sadly, the answer was yes.
ReplyDeleteGood thing they have you to translate for them! But what will they do when they graduate?? And hey -- maybe you should keep calling it a "bachelorette Mass." Could increase attendance![SMOOCH to you, my beloved!]
DeleteI don't hate you, Mom. And I used to sneak-watch The Little Mermaid. If you had heard her rant, you would know why this is ironic.
ReplyDelete