Thursday, November 29, 2012
I sprained my butt.
Well, so the latest health news is that I sprained my butt.
And I must say I'm a little huffy about the fact that the family response has been nothing but glee. Chortles, snickers, guffaws, smirks, knowing glances at each other -- this is the response I get every time I say, "jeepers -- my butt really hurts, y'all!"
I'll wait while you concoct all of your "pain in the ass" jokes here. Take your time -- I have no plans.
Why is this? Why do they mock? Is it perhaps because I sound like every single caricature of a little old lady as I say, "OOF!" and "Owww!" and "Blaarggh!" and "Oh, sweet mother of mercy, kill me now!" while trying to stand up, bend over to load a dishwasher, check my blind spot in the car, or put on a pair of blue jeans? I sound like I'm being beaten up by Batman or Green Lantern or someone else who says "BIF!"or "POW!"
It's a real pain in the ass.